أكرموا أولادكم و أحسنوا آدابهم

Honor your children and train them well

Today’s youth are born into a world of war, where  …

-       where the less intelligent among us become the leaders

-       where fame (especially on TV) comes most easily from impropriety

-       many governments spend most of their money on weapons (rather than food, development and education)

-       corporate companies dictate international policies for material gain, at the expense of thousands of innocent lives (Exxon Mobil posted a quarterly profit of 11 billion 680 million while our whole country suffers an economic crises and pay record prices for gas that causes the price of everything to sky rocket)

-       where global warming has started its negative effect on the earth and life as we know it may be adversely affected in an irreversible way (this green earth that we are in charge of is dying)

-        

The World We are Leaving for Them

The youth must wonder whether the leaders of the nations are capable of telling them the truth, or whether their parents have the ability to teach them how to create a world where peace, liberty, justice and equity, rule of law, economic fairness, human equality, and human rights would prevail.

The racism, greed, and religious hatred that have fanned the fires of war are still alive in newspapers, magazines, novels, and films, and they continue to pose a threat to the cultural and religious identity and well-being of billions of people worldwide. How to ensure that the children become upright world citizens and are spared the vicious cycle of ethnic and religious hatred, human greed, and lust for power?

Will the children be able to transcend ethnic and religious hatreds, and the lust for power and wealth, to foster a global civil society based on the principles of fundamental freedom and human rights for all?

It will depend on what and how we teach and nurture our children, the future generation-in-the-making, to be good and worthwhile citizens of the world. There is, indeed, a way out of the vicious cycle.

Challenges the Youth Face

These include:

An Identity Crisis: Who am I?

Lack of self confidence and low self esteem: I am worthless

A sense of hopelessness: Where am I   going?

Confusion and ambiguity concerning moral issues: What is right and wrong?

The impact of the electronic media: Entertainment ?

Competitiveness (especially in education): the uneven playing field: Excellence by whom? Not Me.

Ø Generation Gap

The Generation Gap is a continual source of pain and confusion for every successive generation and is often seen as the difficulties and struggles represented in the attitudes and experiences of people of differing ages who live at the same time.

The Generation Gap occurs when …

-       older and younger people are rarely on the same page because of their  different experiences; leading to differences of perspectives, tastes, outlook, priorities …

The younger generation often finds itself at odds with the older generation, and every era is not without its generational divides and conflicts. This is true of us living in the present as it has been throughout human history, and there is nothing to suggest that things will change in the future.

Perhaps it is human nature after all, for the young to stand apart from the old and to pronounce their judgment on the past, dreaming aloud of how things could be otherwise – until, of course; the time comes when age makes us wiser and more humane, and we come to realize that one day we too will be judged by the restless heralds of the coming age.

Young people are agile, motivated, dynamic, and have sharp analytical skills which when tempered by the wisdom and the lived experience of the elders can yield powerful results.

          Prophetic Examples

-       the image of Abraham peace be upon him in the Quran is one of extreme inspiration, enlightenment and uniqueness. It is the image of a young man rebelling against his people’s decadent traditions, a young man defying the dominant values of his society even in the form of a tyrant king who claims divinity

-       We can take a great lesson from the fact that Allah documents, as part of divine revelation, the naseehah/advice of Luqman ‘the Wise’ to his sons [Q31:12-19] and makes that parental advice the central theme of the 31^st chapter, titled Luqman. In the relationship between the Prophets (peace be upon them), respect, care and love was visible and real…

         Prophet ‘Isa/Jesus with Maryam/Mary [chapter 19]

         Prophets Ya’qub/Jacob with Yusuf/Joseph [chapter 12]

         Prophets Ibrahim/Abraham and Ismai’l/Ishmael [Q37:100-102]

-       The mission of Muhammad ~ speaking of the social classification of his followers, that he was supported by the young and poor, and rejected by the old and rich, for the latter are usually powers of conservatism and rigidity while the young and poor are usually forces of change and revival.Throughout the Prophet’s life, he maintained a balance between appreciating and respecting the wisdom and the lived experience of the elder companions such as Khadijah / Abu Bakr as-Siddiq and appreciating and respecting the dynamism and the sharp insights of the younger companions such as Ali ibn Talib / ‘Aishah /Abdullah ibn Abbas.

Ø Building Blocks

building blocks of healthy development that help young people grow up healthy, caring, and responsible.

-       Family Support provides and material /physical care, safety  &  love;

-       Positive Family Communication,

The worst person is the one who suppresses/distresses his family

شرُّ الناسِ الضَّيِّقُ على أهله ، ألرجلُ اذا دخلبيتهُ خشِعَت امرأتهُ  و هرب ولده و فرَّ عبدَهُ ؛

فاذا خرَجَ ،  ضحِكت امرأتهُ  واستأنسَ أهلُ بَيتِهِ

That person who when he comes home, his wife becomes fearful, his children run away from him and his servant hurries out of his way; But when he leaves the house, the wife is cheerful and his family is at ease.

Parents are the avenues through which children enter this world. In the words of poet, Khalil Gibran: “They come through you, but belong not to you.” Parents are the first line of comfort and the last line of defense. Love, cherish, empower and nurture your children as best you can.

- Good Education and Positive Role Models (inside and outside the home)

We have the responsibility of nurturing and caring for them, to prepare them for life, to empower them through today for tomorrow and to inculcate in them good character …. as the best thing a parent can provide for

من ادب حسن  ما ورَّث والدٌ ولدًا خيرٌ

the benefit of a child is good moral training

as well as to be just and fair to them.

I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day,
I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell me the way,
The eye is a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Teachings can be confusing but examples are always clear,
The lesson you convey in words you say may be fine and true,
But I'd rather get my lessons from observing what you do;
I may misunderstand you through the high advice you give,
But there is no misunderstanding how you act and live

- Community and Social Values    

ليس منا من لم يرحم صغيرنا و لم يعرف شرف كبيرنا

That person is not of us … the elder who has no compassion for the young and the young who has no respect for the elder

- Social Involvement ~ Create avenues of involvement for empowerment and for compassion. Have venues where they can feel at ease and be guided (as youth living with the daily challenges of contemporary society) and to forge a positive Muslim ID a; not isolated or irrelevant to the society they live in, but emboldened to be proud youth living as global citizens wherever they may find themselves; realizing that a true Believer  is one in whom humanity at large find safety and security regarding life, honor and property.

       There is a dire need to engage the youth directly into active participation in the dynamic workings of the society; particularly in Islamic Centers.  *Being an integral part of the core of faith-related activities is essential for the process of youth empowerment which leads   to the development of competencies, to civic engagements  and this paves the way for positive socialization. It also makes them part of understanding the faith community they belong to and promotes a sense of belonging; so rare in an increasingly selfish and lonely world.

- Develop a Postive ID ~ For the Muslim American youth; there are many challenges in this regard; challenges that greatly determine their attitude towards their faith, towards those who abide by their faith, towards those who challenge their faith; all the while developing their self-image.

Ø Image of Islam and Muslims ~

-       Mounting Islamophobia - A recent Washington News and ABC survey corroborates a CAIR survey that indicates that more than 45% of Americans have a negative perception of Islam and Muslims, that 27% believe that Islam teaches violence and hate and that Muslims value life less than others. Only 6% had a positive first impression of Islam.

-       A Muslim is deemed “guilty by association” and have to prove hat you are one of “us” not one of “them”;  and in the name of National Security, Muslims have lost more of their rights than any other strata of contemporary American society

-       Muslims are demonized in much of the media in such a way that Islam has become synonymous with negative terms in the most damaging way; that when issues of Islam and Muslims are discussed, terms such as extremists, fanatics, Islamo-fascists, terrorists …  are invariably used

Ø Global Issues, Local Impact - ~

-       The issues that affect the ummah (global community of faith) and the stance taken vis-à-vis these issues has among the greatest impact upon the attitude of Muslim youth towards the society they live in.                                                          

Ø Social Pressure ~

Most visible symbols of personal Muslim life are favorite targets of this pressure; hijab or the beard (not forgetting that such symbols are even undermined in Muslim societies; [eg. Egypt, Turkey, Tunisia …] and often the target of ridicule)

Social pressure is indeed a very powerful source of influence; answering the questions…

-       what do people say?

-       what do they think of me?

-       do they accept me?

-       are they laughing at me, ridiculing me, condemning me?

         … greatly determine the way youth see themselves.

So, in addition to the usual issues of the generation gap, and the cultural clash of being culturally Irani/Pakistani/Arab/Afghani at home and American outside; the negative imagery of the faith has a tremendously off-putting impact on the youth and has a colossal influence on his/her self-image and self-esteem.

Task Ahead

One may define the “ideal youth” as a balanced individual exhibiting a highly spiritual life informed by absolute moral values and whose behavior demonstrates qualities such as righteousness, honesty, humility and conscientiousness in everything he/she does. But, to do that parents must provide good training & homely atmosphere Many children are deprived of true love, coming from homes where the important adults lack either emotional depth or emotional expressiveness.

Parents are the avenues through which children enter this world. In the words of poet, Khalil Gibran: “They come through you, but belong not to you.” Parents are the first line of comfort and the last line of defense. Love, cherish, empower and nurture your children as best you can. ليس منا من لم يرحم صغيرنا و لم يعرف شرف كبيرنا

That person is not of us … the elder who has no compassion for the young and the young who has no respect for the elder.[Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)]

Imam Ali said; “Train them with a training different from your training, for they have been creted for a period different from yours”

Talking about youth is not so much talking about an age group as much as it is talking about the future.

_____________________________ 

By: Br. Sadullah Khan

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