Though we have made tremendous scientific and technological advances in the past few decades, etiquette and moral values still seem to be in their primitive stages. If good manners and feelings had advanced along with reason and science, then humankind would indeed have advanced in their humanity too.

Pillar of Morality

• Truthfulness is one of the pillars on which the moral survival of the world depends. Allah has created the heavens and the earth with truth . [Qur'an 16.3]
• It is the foundation of praiseworthy characteristics, the foundation of Prophethood. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) has been known amongst his people for his honesty and truthfulness; to such an extent that he was known amongst them as as-Sadiq (the truthful) and al-Ameen (the trustworthy).So, when Heraclius, the ruler of Rome, asked the Muslim envoy about the characteristics of the Prophet, one of the things he asked was, ‘ Did you ever accuse him of lying before he said what he said ?' The envoy said, ‘ No .' Heraclius said: ‘ If he refrained from telling lies about people he would not go and tell lies about God. ' [Tafseer Ibn Kathir]

   

• Allah mentioned truthfulness over a 100 places in the Qur'an: " So God may reward the truthful for their truthfulness " [Q33:24]. " O You who believe, heed God and be of those who are truthful " [Q9:119]. " O You who believe, guard your duty to God, and speak words straight to the point. " [Q33:70] . " Believers are... those who are truthful ." [Q49:15]. Successful indeed are the believers. Those who offer their prayers with all solemnity and full submissiveness. And those who turn away from al-laghw (false, impure, evil falsehood, vain talk.) [Q 23:1-3]

   

Speech, Truthfulness and its Consequences
The freedom of exercising speech is more important than the freedom of exercising thinking because if someone makes a mistake when exercising his/her freedom to think, only that individual is harmed. One the other hand, when exercising the freedom of speech, the welfare of the society is at stake. The advantages and disadvantages of freedom of speech could affect the whole society. Imam Abu Hamid al-Ghazali writes: " The tongue is a beneficial and delicate gift, which regardless of its small size performs an extremely important job when it comes to rightfulness and wrongfulness. Remember, both disbelief and faith could be manifested with the tongue.

Conditional Telling of Untruths
There are times; very, very rare times; when it would be unwise to volunteer harmful truths.

• Jewish Tradition
  Moshe Ben Chaim states, There is however one concession where truth becomes secondary, that is when ‘peace is at risk. The reason is because peace or harmony is the very backdrop undisposable for fostering truth. Therefore, when peace is at stake, one may lie to protect and secure that environment essential for the pursuit of truth. To lie about your husband's taste in his tie, or about your wife's cooking is permissible so as to keep serenity ever present, thereby securing an enduring environment of peace so growth/progress may take place. Otherwise, the turbulence which is the result of insensitivity will create discord, and not only growth, but all goals could become compromised by ill feelings .
• Christian Tradition
  Catholic Encyclopedia: That a man who is under the necessity of lying should diligently consider the matter so as not to exceed. He should gulp the lie as a sick man does his medicine". while admitting in general a lie is intrinsically wrong, yet there are exceptions to the rule. As it is lawful to kill another in self-defense, so in self-defense it is lawful to tell an untruth .
• Islamic Tradition
  Humaid b. 'Abd al-Rahman b. 'Auf reported that his mother Umm Kulthum bint 'Uqba (one amongst the first emigrants who pledged allegiance to the Prophet) said that she heard the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) saying: That person is not a liar who tries to bring reconciliation amongst people and speaks good (in order to avert dispute), or attempts to convey benefit . Ibn Shihab said, I did not hear that exemption was granted in anything what the people speak an untruth but in three cases: in battle, for bringing reconciliation amongst persons and the narration of the words of the husband to wife, and the narration of the words of a wife to her husband in order to bring reconciliation between them . [Sahih Muslim. Tradition # 6303]

From this we conclude that telling an untruth is thus conditionally permissible in three cases: war; reconciling between two disputing parties; between spouses for the sake of harmony. Necessary lying has its limitations, but it must stop on the border of necessity. If people widen the circle of ‘constructiveness' to include their personal wishes and lusts, people would use any excuse to lie. Those who think it is permissible to tell white lies soon grow color-blind .  ~ [Austin O'Malley]

More Than Just Telling the Truth
Being honest isn't simply telling the truth. It is also about being sincere, about being candid and about being good. Remember therefore that"

• It is just as dishonest to deceive someone by half-truths as it is to lie. Be also aware of the half truth. You may have gotten hold of the wrong half.
• Do not add to the truth , because if you add to the truth, you subtract from it . [Talmud] The elegance of honesty needs no adornment. [author, Merry Browne]
• those who tell the truth, only have to tell the truth once; those who lie will have to keep lying forever .
• Do not abuse the truth as a tool to hurt. There are times when uninhibited and unvarnished honesty can be unkind, hurtful and even cruel. In extreme cases, people who have intimate knowledge of each other's physical or moral flaws use ‘honesty' as a vicious weapon, especially during bitter breakups or divorces. From an ethical perspective this is indefensible. When the purpose of a communication is to injure, truth is no defense. A truth that's told with bad intent is worse than all the lies you can invent.  ~ [William Blake]

The Five T's
When the ethical principles of honesty, respect and caring are in conflict, there is no single right answer. But when you're considering conveying hard truths, there are 5 critical factors you ought to consider "

1. thinking/rationale ~ Be sure about your facts and pure about your motive. Your intentions must be honorable, your rationale sound and you must have the well-being of others at heart.
2. tact ~ consider the most effective manner in handling the matter
3. tone ~ If you decide to speak, choose your words very carefully, avoid self-righteousness or unnecessary accusations and get the truth across in the best possible manner
4. timing ~ pick a time and place that lends itself to honest, fruitful interchange.
5. touching ~ And remember, if a word comes from the heart it will land in the heart... and if it merely comes from the tongue it may not even pass the ears! [Sufi saying]

Truthfulness as Core of Character
It is said that honesty is the best policy and Shakespeare wrote, no legacy is so rich as honesty . A true believer has many characteristics by which he/she can be identified. The most outstanding one should be honesty of character and truthfulness of speech. The tongue translates man's internal feelings to the outside world. Honesty should thus be at the core of a Muslim's character and speaking the truth should not be seen as a separate component of a Muslim's character, but as the doorway to righteousness. Just as deliberate lying is among the ugliest traits; truthfulness is one of the most beautiful traits Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: " Being truthful is obligatory, for truly truthfulness lead to righteousness, and righteousness leads to paradise. "

By: Br. Sadullah Khan

See Learning Bridge for Published Lectures, Friday Sermon, Audio & Video Lectures