"As you do, so shall you be rewarded." (Prophet Muhammad (pbuh))

"Pessimism is part of bad character." (Prophet Muhammad (pbuh))

Life's greatest tragedy is realizing towards its end that we have not ended up where we would've wanted to and discovering that we were ultimately the greatest obstacles in our own lives. Self-defeating behavior is actually any behavior that keeps people from reaching their goals

Have I been engaging throughout my life in self-defeating rather than life-enhancing behavior. Do I act out debilitating self-defeating patterns of choose to feel, act and think differently. Life-enhancing behavior begins when I pause to evaluate, analyze and reconsider my situation.

We cannot escape ourselves and we are never inconsequential in our own lives.

Suffering caused by Self-Defeating Behavior

• We limit our potential (Nothing undermines individual development as badly as low self-esteem)
• We have to put energy into repairing outer damage (Making peace with people we disappointed or rectifying our faults)
• We have to repair inner damage (negative feelings such as guilt, envy ...)
• Undermines our credibility ((People who engage in self-defeating behavior are often pitied, seldom respected)
• Procrastination (The more we delay things the harder they become)
• Blaming others (You can not learn from your mistakes unless you first acknowledge them)

Overcoming Daily Self-Defeating Behavior

• Be Reflective rather than Reflexive (Do not react to issues or incidents purely on impulse or emotion but act on intelligence by consciously choosing the best course of action)
• Physical and Emotional Awareness ( How are you affected and what do you feel)
• Consequence Awareness (What would your thoughts, emotions and actions lead to; solution, benefit, or problems?

Thought of the Day

Positive Thinking --> Positive Considerations --> Solutions --> Success
Instead of defeating yourself, face the reality of life with faith, dignity, courage, wisdom and a firm, positive resolve.

"Allah will not change the condition of people until they change themselves"(Qur'an 13:11)

Either I take life merely as it comes or I could convert my ambitions into goals, my goals into plans and thus design my life into a meaningful life; living life with purpose rather than by chance. Planning life is bringing dreams for the future into the reality of the present in order that you can do something about it now.

Incentives to Self Motivation

• Be optimistic
  • Remember that attitudes are habits of thought that affect our performance, we are not born with them, we acquire them; and if needs be, we should change them.
  • Truly interesting, positive and successful people acquire the habit of talking about what they are for rather than what they are against. This optimism propels them forward and motivates them to lean fully into life rather than away from it.
• Do not indulge in self-limiting thinking
  • People do not aim high (they fear they may miss), so they aim low and hit.
  • Many are so busy doing what they think they have to do that they do not consider thinking about what they really want to do.
  • Though the mind can focus on fear, worry, failure and despair; it could focus on confidence, optimism and success. You decide.
  • Others could be temporary obstacles in your life, only you could be an obstacle permanently.
  • If I am negative about myself why would others be positive.
• Train yourself to finish what you start
  • If you do not finish what you start you will not complete what you intend and never reach your goal
• Live in the present
  • We can learn from the past and appreciate the memories; we can look to the future and set our goals; but the more we remind ourselves of the present the better we get at living the moment...
  • Many spend so much time dwelling in past or on the future that no real attention is paid to the present. The present is all we really have; it is the most valuable gift, perhaps that is why it is called "present".
• Make time for daily reflection
  • Spend some time in spiritual rejuvenation; prayer and meditation.

Concluding Thought

"O Allah, make life for us a means for every dimension of increased goodness" ( Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) )

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By: Br. Sadullah Khan

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